Medical meltdown

Since January I have felt a lump/bump in my cheek, the first dr dismissed me and told me “your bloods are fine you should be pleased”. Of course I was pleased that I didn’t even scale on the vitamin d chart but yes it could have been much more worrying. So I visited the dentist to check for abcesses. Nothing mentioned. I then mentioned to another Dr and he checked saying he thought yes something felt different.  A wait for an ent appointment, a long delay in eat followed by a 5 min appointment and a referral to ultrasound.

At this point I’m still quite chilled. No point stressing, other than being tired there’s nothing wrong with me. So Monday arrives, a lovely nurse settles me in the chair and goes out to meet the person doing the ultra sound.  In walks this very tiny, possibly Chinese, guy with glasses. He introduced himself then set about fixing the computer with many a grumble. He was actually quite funny the whole way through the procedure.  Proclaiming my name was too common and when I married I needed someone with an unusual name! He then said my issue was random and he couldn’t find the matching  nerves etc from the good side to the dodgy. He then showed me my teeth were visible on the left but not at all on the right. There was a black space.  I left feeling a mix of oh I need more tests to that’s random.

I’m quite a together person, I Googled and it says black areas are fluid-so does that mean a cyst or worse, I have no idea.  I dealt with it. But all I really wanted was my parents and the 1 friend I’d told to remember my appointment. To check in and ask how I’d got on. I felt a bit annoyed.  By Tuesday when my mum turned up and started talking about my brother and his self chosen medical appointment I felt really worthless.  I have to admit. I binged. I ate a load of rubbish for 2 days. I gained 1.5 lb today probably due to that binge. The food didn’t help at all. My mood was awful. I felt so down. This morning I told mum I was cross and she apologised.  I only wanted someone to remember.


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