Dreams and wishful thinking.


My last 2 posts just show how close to the edge i was over my career. I have wanted to teach for years, which is odd because school wasn’t somewhere I ever loved being. I went to see friends and I coasted. My dream was to play sport, model, travel the world or be a hippy with a camper van and live by the sea, all very different. I had no drive to study or do well in exams as i felt they were pointless. I loved history, geogrpahy and parts of English the rest of the lessons were boring. I liked parts of primary school-especially the sporty bits. I still find exams pointless and a waste of time but I like teaching. I like the fact that often each day brings something new or different, I enjoy making the children smile and feel that they belong and that we work together.

So when i got stressed over the tests but managed to ruin my boliday.   But I was determined not to let one piece of senseless, pointless paperwork dictate my future. I put more hours in on study and passed it. The pointless box ticked.

So I am back to following my dream of teaching now-i’m not about to give up. If I can pass the maths then I can do the course easily.

As for modelling-i let the skinny me go a long time ago so that is definitely no longer a dream. The hippy me still exists and I’d still love a camper van and to live by the sea. Maybe one day I will get my house near the sea, teach and own the camper van. I’m not afraid of hard work and its now time to start looking after myself again. In the last few weeks i dont remember when I last drank water-well apart from the glass at lunch today, or ate fruit or even fresh food. It’s time to get back on track and get my course finished, find a job and get ready to start a new career come September.



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