Sugar free February and swimming 22 miles in Feb/March

Well today is day 3 of sugar free February. I signed up to give up chocolate, sweets, cake and biscuits and limit other sugar intake in the form of sugar within food.

Now this may seem a copy put to some, however when you think there isn’t a day go by without chocolate or sweets or a week without cake them you’ll know how big a deal this is for me. I can easily eat 3 chocolate bars on one go or 2 bags of sweets and 2 cakes etc.

Day three so far hasn’t been so bad-i have had to think about choices etc and it’s breaking habits. I did buy some sugar free sweets just to see me through the sweet cravings but I dare not eat those like i would ordinary ones!!!

Can I make another 25days we will see. To add to my challenges I also signed up to swim 22 miles for diabetes UK.  Thankfully this is not a 22mile swim in one go but over 10 weeks ish. I hope that the two challenges will bring my weight down, increase my fitness and help me switch off. If I’m not fit and if I’ve not lost weight by May there will be serious trouble. #cancerresearch #diabetes #sugarfree

January Blues ?

It’s now the 22nd of January and I am still teaching and the actual observation part is going well-lots of good lessons etc, working on a new team with a particularly manipulative member of staff is draining as is working with one who is always moaning and stropping.  I don’t feel I have had the support from the teacher as I thought I was meant to and feel very much I have done this alone.  But that at least is good practise for next year.  I still hope to complete for September start in a new school. I am currently looking, visiting and writing applications.

It is interesting visiting different schools, within a week I have visited a large brand new build school 400+ pupils and a small Church of England school with a one form entry in an old victorian building with tiny classrooms and steep stairs!

I keep thinking that in 8 months time  I will be preparing to settle into a new school with a new team, but going in as an nqt and not part of a leadership team will be quite bonus. I can be me.

In other news, I have decided to sign up for cancer research’s  sugar free feb and I have chosen to cut out chocolate, sweets, biscuits and cakes. Alongside this one have signed up to swim 22 miles over 3 months for diabetes UK.  Both of these conditions have effected friends or family in one way or another.

Wish me luck. I am such a sugar addict I don’t know what I’m going to do without it. Oh and I’m so busy with work I’m not sure where to fit in 22 miles that’s about 2 and a bit miles a week! If I am not fit by May half term I will cry!!!

Christmas

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It’s Christmas!!! Sorry for the predictable opening words.  Well it’s now Christmas Eve 2016. This year has been eventful and uneventful in equal measures. This time last year I hated work, couldn’t bear the thought of going in day after day, was incredibly run down an later found out that the vitamin d in my body was non existent.  So thankfully nothing serious but caused so many problems at the time. April brought a job interview as work was so awful an interview I didn’t get but opened so many doors.  I then  enjoyed the run down from April to summer hols which included a lovely week in menorca with the family, a nice relaxing August and I didn’t feel quite so bad going back to work in September.  Then I found out I could do my teaching and wow I’m half a term down and it’s Christmas!

Usually I love the run up to Christmas and I enjoy shopping etc but the finances have meant that I have had to he a savvy shopper a bit more this year. I have plans to use my Christmas money to pay more off the credit cards and live on so as much as I love a sale and shopping I won’t be joining in as such this year. I have instead added a few dresses to my online shop account which though not ideal has helped the itch a bit!

I’m currently sat at home, alone on Christmas Eve. I find this all quite sad. However after talking to friends with families andpartner’s families they assure me I have the best deal.  Do I agree? Not really. My Christmas is quiet and quite boring. Just like a long, drawn out Sunday lunch with a bonus of chocolate (there’d better be chocolate). But at least my only moan is I can’t drink as I’ve been pretty much told I’m doing all the driving and taking home of grandparents. No choice. Not impressed with that really.  But I only have the one moan. Others have families dragging them all over. That I do not wish.

I currently am feeling a bit yak. I have a  cough which hurts and I can’t taste anything.The cough is almost a tradition, who am I kidding, it is a traditional, Turkey  (for family) veggie meal left by me and a cough happen every year!

 

So Merry Christmas and whatever you are up to- enjoy, make the most of it and remember it’s just a day!

4 weeks in…do I love teaching?

screenshot_20161127-092019I have now completed my first 4 weeks of teaching. It has been in at the deep end from day 1. Do I love it? Sometimes.  We had a particularly tricky year 4 maths concept to teach which required many a discussion.  But on the whole I have enjoyed the challenge.  I will be very grateful however to teach ks1 maths from now on! The class I have left behind were a challenging ( but lovely) bunch and for my second observation one was in meltdown mode-making it tricky to teach. I didn’t block his meltdown out quite like I should have done.  This lesson was graded as developing with areas of achieving  (TES speak) basically ri but with good sections. I wasn’t happy with my lesson as it didn’t flow quite like I’d planned. I’m always looking for things to be good. I hate it when they are not!

Thursday saw a long evening with a teacher meet but during it I discovered a blog with images to stimulate thought and writing.  I love a good picture! (Or video clip) it’s how I work so to find a blog  (once upon a picture) where good images have already been uploaded is fab.

Next week I start my ks1 journey with a handover week, followed by a teaching week with the current class teacher and then it’s mine…all mine! Scary but exciting. I am looking forward to making the class mine but building new working relationships is terrifying. What if they hate me?  What if well the other student was better? I’m such a worrier! I need of relax and remember not every lesson will go as planned, I’m still learning and I can do this! I started this post with do I love teaching? My answer….I think so! I’m more challenged and less bored and switched off than I was in my previous role. I have made the right decision.  I hope!

First official teaching week

This week was my first week of autumn 2. More significantly it was the first official week of my straight to teaching course. Monday was an inset and I was straight into teaching Tuesday morning for maths. It was awful. Just awful.  I was so worried about it all. I cover regularly. I just felt like the pressure had just increased ten fold.

I then taught all day Wednesday and Thursday morning. Atv7 his point I’d still not wanted anyone in with me. I felt so awkward.  By Thursday inferno had my behaviour management back in control. The kids were beginning to realise i still mean what I say. Thursday was finished with a very late night of a “friends” event stood outside in the cold. Brrr. Friday I was so tired. And my literacy lesson had my class teacher (who was a head teacher until September and now a deputy) day in for some of it. She then took the lower ability 4 children and the difference in the classroom was amazing. On the whole the quality of writing was fine. Maths was hard. The layout of our new books threw them right off target.

Friday afternoon I wasn’t meant to he teaching but ended up doing so. Art on a Friday…no marking but stressful!!!

 

All in all I was pleased to get this first week under my belt. Next week I have my first official observation and a whole day of meetings and assessment. Part of me is wondering what on earth have i decided to do this for? The other part is looking forward to a few weeks time when I take over a class for maternity cover and it becomes MY class. At the moment this class feels like I’m a cuckoo in a nest.

 

Finances and no help.

I’ve had to wait a few days to post about how I have tried to and failed to get help sorting all my soaring debt (interest mainly) as my (draft)post the other night read as though I was suicidal.  I wasn’t.  But I had had enough of it all.  Why is it that big companies can send you letter after letter promising 0% this, low rate that; until that is you’d like some help. First of all I applied to sainsburys bank for a loan.  It wouldn’t cover all of my debt but a significant chunk and would’ve reduced my out goings by £200 ish a month. They were a blanket no. Not interested not even a sorry.

I emailed both barclaycard and mbna to complain about their practises with a much better outcome from barclaycard.  As a gesture they refunded my over limit card charge and the interest that that generated last month and reinstated the promotional level.  Mbna on the other hand were not prepared to do anything at all. They told me if signed up fair point and although acknowledging their interest was what was killing me off (at 29.9% I’ll just add) it was tough luck.  So this has to be the first card to go. Especially considering they doubled my credit limit between two months statements.

Next I telephoned Santander,their slogan being simple, personal, fair. It turns out I have quite a chunk of equity in my house I could ask for an additional loan on my mortgage.  So I did.  I told them it was for debt consolidation, I explained that it would leave some debt left over but I’d  be able to clear it as I would be saving over £300 a month! So much more affordable.  There was a light at the end of a very dark tunnel.  Only for Santander to switch the light off. With no decent explanation.  Apparently it’s not affordable to lend me that money (which I see as being my money as it’s equity), even though to me my outlay would drastically drop every month oh and I might not spend the money on what I said so basically they called me a liar!  Very personal I feel just not in the way  I’m sure it’s meant to be.

So currently I am going to write to Santander and express my disappointment in them.  They could help- they choose not too.  So instead of a lovely relaxing break this week I have spent most of it in a high state of anxiety.  All caused by the banks and their lack of help. 2016-06-12 18.58.38

Apparently it’s only Wednesday!

What a week so far… my stinking cold had really taken hold over the weekend and by 11am on Monday morning I was hoping for an on time or at least close to finish. Well, 11.45 and the phone rings, itv is only blooming Ofsted! Just before the cut off.  Now, we have known they are due any day but have been saying this for what feels like forever. So no early finish for me on Monday, instead it was a meeting to double check we were happy with all our lessons, a quick staff meeting to be given details for Tuesday and a last minute are we ready and i left school around 6.30. So actually not bad but some staff were much later. Thank goodness for organised teaching partners.

So 8am Tuesday morning and the car park is already full, the inspector arrives early and is met by someone asking if they are blocking him in and would it be a problem. Friendly intro to our team!

I never saw the inspector again really.  Even in my leadership role.  To me it was like any other day. Last minute cover, struggling on full of cold. By 4pm we knew they weren’t in for a second day.  A good bit of news.  Followed by more good news, I was accepted on to the TES straight to teaching course.  Starting in 4 weeks time. Excited and nervous all together.

Then today. Last minute cover all morning. Meeting this afternoon followed by finally the MRI scan I’ve been waiting for.  That wasn’t my favourite part of the day, being closed in with my head secured in place.  I felt caged. And I’m no good at lying still.  3o mins not being able to move. I did however listen to the radio in the scanner! Now I just need to wait.

 

2 days of this week left and then I really need to sleep this weekend.

 

 

Bye bye weightwatchers thanks for the 12lb loss but time to move on.

So I finally made a decision and I have to say for the last couple of weeks I have felt better for it. No I haven’t lost any weight but neither have i gained any.

Weightwatchers was working for me until Christmas 2015 and then the plan changed and it became unworkable. I spent months hating the new plan, feeling like I couldn’t have certain foods and really not enjoying anything I ate. I was eating more sweets out of anger and generally my head was in a mess.

This made me reassess. I needed a few weeks of normal. Will I go back in the future i might, will I swap back to slimming world. I might. But for the next few weeks I’m going to focus on finding foods I like again. Getting my head out of the black cloud. Save a few £s along the way and see how my body reacts. I need to lose some weight as my trousers I wore to an interview in April don’t fasten although everything else still fits.  

Yesterday I really enjoyed a cheese and coleslaw door stop sandwich with a French fries side. Really tasty  (even through my cold) and I wasn’t hungry enough for a tea.

Another diet and bank balance aim was to take my lunch to work.  I have managed this for 3 whole weeks. 3 weeks must be a record. I have had salad, pitta breads, sandwiches, cheese and crackers and again.  Do I love my lunches; no. But they are ok. And they are as good or bad a supermarket sandwich.  Which as a veggie are never great. Thankfully I don’t work too close to a pret a manger with their lovely sounding veggie sandwiches.

Oh and the first weeks at work did equal chaos! 3 down 4 to go.

 

Time flies…

Wow I have officially reached the final (working) day of my holidays. 6 weeks have flown by, in a mix of hospital appointments  (mostly not mine), meals out, phone calls, paperwork sorting and copious amounts of TV watching.

For 6 weeks I have had a life. I have been mostly calm and relaxed with just the odd day where the black cloud or anxiety kicked in. With 2 days left to work I suddenly feel ill. All tired and achy and worn out. Psychological? Maybe. Poor sleep? Likely.

So September is here, work starts on Monday.  I’m still waiting for the hospital to sort my mri-apparently I have to wait 6 weeks until my follow up to discuss needing a scan.  Hey? How inefficient.no wonder the NHS is in crisis. I spoke to a friend who works ent at a different hospital who agrees.  I phoned Tuesday.  No call back. I phoned today and have been told they need to look into it. Wait and see i guess.

I’m still waiting to hear on my teaching application-i can see these two things clashing.

I met with a friend I hadn’t seen since the charity coffee morning and before that my birthday. It was awkward at the start to say the least. Especially with her constantly on her phone and me sat waiting. It was better towards the end. This is what happens when things slide. Her doing not mine.

The weight loss has failed and I’m concerned that my work trousers won’t fit on Tuesday. I can get away with jeggings on Monday but back in work gear by Tuesday.

 

So summer, it was lovely. Time and calmness it was lovely knowing you.

Let chaos commenced…..

 

 

 

 

Medical meltdown

Since January I have felt a lump/bump in my cheek, the first dr dismissed me and told me “your bloods are fine you should be pleased”. Of course I was pleased that I didn’t even scale on the vitamin d chart but yes it could have been much more worrying. So I visited the dentist to check for abcesses. Nothing mentioned. I then mentioned to another Dr and he checked saying he thought yes something felt different.  A wait for an ent appointment, a long delay in eat followed by a 5 min appointment and a referral to ultrasound.

At this point I’m still quite chilled. No point stressing, other than being tired there’s nothing wrong with me. So Monday arrives, a lovely nurse settles me in the chair and goes out to meet the person doing the ultra sound.  In walks this very tiny, possibly Chinese, guy with glasses. He introduced himself then set about fixing the computer with many a grumble. He was actually quite funny the whole way through the procedure.  Proclaiming my name was too common and when I married I needed someone with an unusual name! He then said my issue was random and he couldn’t find the matching  nerves etc from the good side to the dodgy. He then showed me my teeth were visible on the left but not at all on the right. There was a black space.  I left feeling a mix of oh I need more tests to that’s random.

I’m quite a together person, I Googled and it says black areas are fluid-so does that mean a cyst or worse, I have no idea.  I dealt with it. But all I really wanted was my parents and the 1 friend I’d told to remember my appointment. To check in and ask how I’d got on. I felt a bit annoyed.  By Tuesday when my mum turned up and started talking about my brother and his self chosen medical appointment I felt really worthless.  I have to admit. I binged. I ate a load of rubbish for 2 days. I gained 1.5 lb today probably due to that binge. The food didn’t help at all. My mood was awful. I felt so down. This morning I told mum I was cross and she apologised.  I only wanted someone to remember.